A Find My Friends alternative that respects your privacy

Find My Friends works. That's sort of the problem. Being permanently findable is weird.

Because once location sharing is on, it has a habit of staying on. In the background. Quietly. Politely. Weirdly forever. You shared it for one trip. One weekend. One "just so we don't lose each other". And now someone you haven't properly spoken to since 2022 might technically be able to see you buying crisps at 1.13am. Cute? Not really.

The problem isn't location sharing, it's the default

We're not anti-map. We're not anti-phone. We're not about to pretend everyone should navigate the night using vibes, star signs and shouting. Location sharing can be brilliant.

But most of the time, it's built around a very strange assumption: once someone can see you, they can keep seeing you until you remember to make them stop. That's a lot of trust to place in your future self. And your future self is busy. Your future self is drunk. Your future self is in a smoking area trying to work out whether the next place is fun or cursed. Your future self is absolutely not auditing a list of who can still see your live location.

Queer people know visibility is never neutral

This matters for everyone. But if you're queer, it can hit a bit differently.

Sometimes being visible is the whole point. You want your people to find you. You want to be part of the night. You want to be seen by the right friends, in the right place, at the right time. And sometimes you very much do not. That's not secrecy. That's context.

Queer nightlife has always understood this better than most tech companies seem to. There are rooms where you can be more yourself. There are people who get access. There are people who don't. There are nights that make sense only to the people who were there. Your location app should not flatten all of that into one permanent little dot.

A better Find My Friends alternative starts invisible

A proper Find My Friends alternative should not just be another way to track people. It should start from the opposite place. Invisible by default. Visible when you choose. For this night, not every night. To these people, not everyone forever. That's the bit aftrs is built around.

• You set your party situation.
• You choose who can see you: everyone, inner circle, or no one.
• You use it when it helps: when you're out, when plans are moving, when the group chat has become a crime scene of half-answers and "where are you???"
• Then you go invisible again.

No permanent broadcasting. No weird always-on energy. No assumption that being social means being available to be found at all times.

It's a signal, not a leash

That's the difference, really. Location sharing should be a signal.

• "I'm out."
• "I'm nearby."
• "I'm still partying."
• "I'm looking for more."

It should not be a leash. It should not be a quiet background permission you forgot about. It should not turn every night out into a tiny surveillance admin task.

aftrs is for the moment you actually need it. The messy, useful, real-life bit where everyone is moving around and the group chat has stopped being a communication tool and started being performance art.

Find your friends. Keep the night going. Disappear when you're done. A Find My Friends alternative, basically, for people who like being found sometimes. Not forever.

If you want a Find My Friends alternative that starts from the opposite default, try aftrs.